New Zealand on vacation
By - ofnkrtffl
We’re going to need some volunteers, and some strong rope.
Is the sun moving too fast again?
Better get grandma's jawbone ready.
The sea was quite lumpy and the weather was foul.
And the bloke with the map was as pissed as an owl.
And the boys called out "Maui you clown let it go"
In the noise he reached for his grandmother's jawbone.
He winked to his mates and said...
"Boys, we don't know how lucky we are! I have a feeling we've stumbled on something substantial!"
We don't know how lucky we are.
I think this calls for Maui, given his ability to dredge up the North island
In my mind as a kid, Maui just caught a stingray, because how Maui looked in the books trying to haul up an entire half country is how I felt when I got a stingray on my line.
North Island is kinda stingray shaped too so...
It's entirely possible that in the book I read, Maui thought he was pulling up a stingray and I've turned that into my own memory. The brain is weird like that.
I also very much remember a picture book version that right at the end had a picture of a stingray overplayed over te ika a Maui. Very much intended to show the island looked like one. As a kid I’d always wondered if Maori had mapped it and knew, learned years later the stories weren’t apparently as much “old Maori fables” as we’d been led to believe, so just a coincidence I guess.
I know we are free to travel, but this is going a little far
South American travel bubble when?
When bacon prices get so high you need fighter jets to hunt the pigs
This should definitely improve the quality of drugs we have in this country.
In related news, spotify totally fucked their android app in their last major update. I actually resent it now.
Holy shit yes it's barely useable now. So frustrating
Can't sort subscribed podcasts by recently uploaded, only by recently subscribed. When in offline mode, takes ages to load certain pages. Other things as well. It was almost a perfect app before they changed it
I don't get how Spotify can suck so bad as a podcast player.
Don't worry they're just trying to beat YouTube Music in badness.
Why is YouTube Music bad? I use it and it seems okay to me.
I also never got into any other streaming service for music, so I don't have anything to compare it with though.
My review in Jan 2021:
> It's offline support is frustrating at best, and usually broken. Downloads give up. Plenty of "albums" are a mistagged mess. Radio stations continually suggest Top 40 songs. I'm not sure why I'm still using this rubbish. There's no curation, your plays are polluted by your YouTube likes, your radio stations are entirely uninspiring, and sometimes it feels like you're fighting the UI.
i use youtube music and agree with this
To be fair, there is a setting which you toggle to make it not synch your youtube likes, I reckon considering the value of getting youtube premium and the gloriousness of no ads makes it worthwhile
if i ever lost my streaming with my phone plan i think i’d go back to pirating or buying songs direct like it’s 2009. all of the streaming services cost so much money and are all dogshit.
I attempted to use YouTube Music as a premium user for several months last year before giving up in disgust and going to Deezer (which is brilliant by the way). Everything in your review is spot on, but in addition the Android app is really flaky, falls over more often than a drunk after happy hour, endless issues. I actually tried replacing my phone to see if that helped, went from a five year old Nokia to a new mid range Samsung with a four times more powerful CPU and double the RAM, didnt help at all. Deezer is pretty much rock solid, have had one or maybe two issue in a year and I use it heavily
Could be worth trying Deezer, it has a dedicated podcast section (which I havent used though) and it is a brilliant music app
I'm nit having any issues. When new eps of the ones I follow are up, it goes into "latest episodes". Easy to keep track of.
>When in offline mode, takes ages to load certain pages.
I was wondering if this was just me :( idk if I'm comforted or not that it's a general problem. I always find myself having to exit the app a couple times before I get certain pages opening properly.
When im offline it logs me out and I need internet to log back in, therefore making the offline mode and downloads useless...
Always done that though...
Gave up on Spotify as a podcast player a while back, after trying 5 - 6 others I reckon pocket casts is the go to for android. The premium version is 1 dollar a month, fully worth it IMO.
Disagree with it being almost perfect before they changed it, it's been slow, clunky and generally shit for years now
When you go shuffle play on a playlist it will play one song from it then start playing random songs kinda like the 'song radio' function. Super annoying.
Was there a time the app was ever good? I’ve been using it on and off since it launched in NZ and I’ve always been frustrated by its inconsistencies and boneheaded UI decisions that are the enemy of my fat thumbs. Google Play Music on the other hand despite being yet another abandoned google product had a pretty *agreeable* UI...
Yeah, Google Play Music was great until it died a slow and painful death...
I have never found Spotify to be useable - click to play a particular song and it plays something completely random. Maybe I'm using it wrong, but it's not an intuitive system to me.
If you don't pay for it, it is almost literally unusable.
Ah that's probably my problem then... I refuse to pay for it because it's unusable, why would I shell out money for something I don't enjoy using? Catch 22 at its finest I guess.
If you want to beat the system the free version for PC is basically the same thing as the paid version but you can't download anything, so if are that way inclined you can beat the system with a Raspberry Pi and a hotspot
I've resented Spotify ever since I first heard about it.
The app on Android had been borked the entire time I was using it and they NEVER fixed any of the issues. They kept me on for a while purely bc I couldn't be arsed restarting my library somewhere else but I'm so glad I switched to YT music.
Took the COME TO BRASIL meme too seriously
That’s the most messed up placing of NZ on a map I’ve ever seen..
“Boss?, NZ doesn’t fit over here on the right.
“Just put it next to South America.”
The person who made this is taking the piss; they've got a whole series of maps with NZ stashed in all sorts of random places. It's a running joke about /r/mapswithoutnz.
They're just enthusiastically advocating for the return to Gondwana
I looked at the comments before looking at the picture and I thought ok, South America, they’ve just got the wrong side of the Pacific. Nope!
PLS COME TO BRASIL
We are imaginary.
Look to the right of south America
Oh wow, that’s way better.
Haha, took me awhile too
Ig we're south American now huh
When WW3 breaks out and they've launched all the nukes to wipe out civilization, my money is on them using one of these maps that exclude NZ.
Edit : I'm having a slow morning, just spotted us off the coast of Brazil.
Dammit, still no answer on whether I can get Spotify in Antarctica!!
Also, fuck Spotify.
It’s there, just in the wrong place
Oh. Didn't even see it.
I was going through that sub through and there are a few maps where it's migrated, so it'd fit.
I didn't even notice that until you said.... just wow
Reminds me of when I was in France and everyone thought New Zealand was the one above Australia
alright, but can anyone actually name the countries they're not available in w/out having to search? lol
Okay time for my geogussr practice over lockdown to shine:
Umm pass (my Sub-Saharan geography is shit sorry)
There is a shred of red in the Himalayas i suspect is Tibet.
Edit: Tibet is a lot bigger than I thought. I guess that bit is Nepal?
Nah its Myanmar
Nah, Myanmar is in SEA not north of India.
Oh that little bridge is just the strip of Afghanistan that touches China, isn’t actually a different country. But Nepal might also be not allowed, it’s a poorly designed map ngl.
Right, that makes sense.
I think that's French Guiana, not Suriname.
Probably, was just a guess.
I believe that big one on the right is Russia.
lolol I thought it was China
Stupid, that's the democratic republic of the congo 😎😎
Can only assume you’re joking
They're all countries where religion still oppresses the population - and then there's China where instead of religion, assholes oppress the population.
And Cuba and Venezuela
Wow a Bubble with Brazil, Mardi Gra here i come.
Look the source, this isn’t something we can trust...
*confused sheep noises intensify*
Why is our cocaine so expensive?
New Zealand literally came to Brazil
Good, keep it that way, a lot of weirdos out there.
Are we sure this isnt a good thing? Imagine how we could fly under the radar if we were left off world maps.. Sort of like some evil supervillains lair.. Im all for it..
Oh imagine the weather we'd have.
Probably some flying kiwis as well. Damn pretty scary lol
New Zealand; South Americas Madagascar.
I've been so used to looking at world maps that leave NZ out that it took me an uncomfortably long time to figure out what was wrong here! LMAO
I can only assume that someone on the Spotify marketing team assumed that NZ was to South America what Madagascar is to Africa.
Just where I like it to tbh
Excellent. Keep it that way. Maybe America will forget we exist again.
\*me, a kiwi\* -
Yo hold up what the fu-
It's fine, New Zealand likes to take regular vacations into the warp don't worry about it.
This map is inaccurate as shit anyway, we all know for instance that the Nordic countries and Australia don't exist either because in the case of the Nordic countries there's no way a society that perfect exists and as for Australia we all know it's just a cover up for what Britain really did with it's criminals.
At least they got tasmania
If we were there we would have some of the richest soils on the planet.
Its funny we would actually fit there really well.
Good, active camouflage is working.