T O P

Most chickens travel greater distances after they’re dead than when they are alive

Most chickens travel greater distances after they’re dead than when they are alive

BetterThanColdBeer

Your car keys travel further than your car.


krmarci

Unless you have and use multiple keys.


BetterThanColdBeer

Well, that just messes up a good shower thought, didn't think of that.


SMc-Twelve

Your house keys move way more than your house does, though.


tepkel

Your poop collectively moves much more than you do.


boxingdude

I’ve pooped in like ten different countries. And like 35 states!


CluelessNuggetOfGold

This guy poops


aDragonsAle

...do you *Not?*


Tiiba

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Poops


eatsleepandplay

and the poop has stayed in more countries/states longer than you have.


glennert

I pooped in 4 hemispheres


worlox

And four pants


1Eternallylost

So you're a rabbit?


sinkrate

Mr. worldwide!


goddammit5

Back in the shower you go.


Tuss

So you leave your car key in your car? Just an unrelated question... When and where will you leave your car unattended?


krmarci

Let's say you have two keys. You always take one with you randomly, and leave the other at home. This means that either key will travel less than the car, because the distance it travels outside the car likely does not compensate for it only being used half of the journeys.


Big_Dirty_Piss_Boner

I haven‘t used the second key a single time since I got my car 7 years ago.


Mirria_

My second key was there in case the battery ran out on the first. It never did. I don't even know if you can change them.


pumped_it_guy

Mine did, was glad I had a second key


Doctor_Wookie

Some of them you can. Just a tiny little screw holding the thing together. Both the keys I got, the screw worked it's way loose and got lost. I replaced the batteries in both then super glued them shut. One is dead (a year later) and the other still works fine!


Tuss

In this day and age when most keyes are personal and sets the car up for you when you unlock it it sounds stupid to do that.


Nexion21

> most keys Bruh, my fiancé has a 2020 Hyundai, my mom has a 2021 Kia, and my dad has a 2020 Lexus. None of them have this feature and this is the first time I’m ever hearing about it


3pl8

> 2020 Hyundai, my mom has a 2021 Kia They both have that feature, you just need to visit your dealer and get the infotainment system updated


TheMightyTywin

I’ll get right on that


epyon22

Lexus should too


Tuss

Where I live at least most new cars has a personal setting in the key fob. So it sets the mirrors and some times the seat when you unlock it with your key. My brothers old-isch Volvo does this, my dads old Citroên did that to an extent, my friends Subarus does this and my aunt's last three cars have done this.


ihahp

More people have been to the international space station than have been in your bedroom.


BarbedDildo

241 People have been to the ISS. So, no.


Harrpot

We're excluding the ones you kidnapped Steve.


Fangore

Do you think someone with the username BarbedDildo would kidnap people?


F_ckYo_

Your big toe travels further than your pinky toe


AlleyCrawler

Huh... But... It's attached? Are you missing a toe?


deadtorrent

I tap my toes so my big toe does travel more


ShabachDemina

I think it may be the other way around, taking into account the action of turning or swinging your foot. The pinky toe would be travelling along the larger arc of a circle, compared to your big toe. That's weird to think about.


ThisFingGuy

One pinky toe would be on the inside, one on the outside.


_Rand_

Well yeah, but they aren’t comparing left and right pinky toes, they are comparing pinkies to big toes.


all_you_can_eat_soup

U don't always turn the same direction tho?


_Rand_

Ah, yeah guess I didn’t understand what he was saying. I’m honestly not sure if that would counteract or not. I wonder if humans have a habit of turning a particular direction more often. Like if you’re walking around more or less randomly do you tend to turn right if possible for example.


whatphukinloserslmao

I knew a guy once that couldn't turn left. He just wasnt an ambi-turner. It was something he was real embarrassed about but then one day the stakes were super high and he did it. He turned left and saved the prime minister of Malaysia.


LlamasBroski

depends on which side you turn to more often and with which foot you lead...


Fragglerawking

Ack'tually...the outside of you feet take a wider path/ circumference around of every corner, so your pinkies travel the farthest.. one could say the smallest toes cover the most ground.


puchamaquina

Would right turns counteract left turns in distance?


ihatereddit123

No because your pinky is always on the outside of the corner regardless of which direction you turn.


Rebelmind17

I don’t think that’s right since your right foot is on the inside of right turns and you left foot is on the inside of left turns. If you’re making an equal amount of turns, they should cancel out to some extent.


puchamaquina

Yeah, this is what I was thinking. Only one pinky is on the outside


Lufia321

Why was this upvoted? It makes no sense.


BetterThanColdBeer

Well it generated further discussion and debate. Don't know if any of it added to the net knowledge of the world though.


Da5idG

The 'turning corners' argument is irrelevant compared to the metatarsal length and overall length of the medial column during gait. Every step you take the increased lever arm during dorsiflexion and plantarflexion means the hallux travels further than the 5th toe. TL;DR: It's true


BetterThanColdBeer

/r/theydidthebiomechanics. And possibly the wordsmithing, I'm not about to look up of those are actually words.


Void_Guardians

Nope lol


WhatADunderfulWorld

If you made more left turns your right pinky would have traveled further?


ndeniche

Your home keys travel further than your home.


LebowskiX

Birds aren't real


TheVirginMerchant

Okay, now this is what this subreddit is for.


azrulqos

chicken thoughts? r/chicken_thoughts


notsuffocator

Huh, now that’s a sub that’s isn’t what I thought it would be about


MisfitMemories

I'm not sure whether the lack of actual chickens in that sub makes it better or worse.


KingRalphKlein

Either way. All I know is that now I want one so I can set it down. Took me all of 2 pics to join.


DudeMcdude251

Chicken's the name of her bird


AiryGr8

That was a fun 15 minutes


lucas24709

That was a ride


batmanthefapman

/r/subsithoughtifellfor


mcleofly

Wooah. Good shower thought there


greenthumbbumm

This is one I will tell my friends about


creatorkiller09

Nice


GeforzeTheGreat

A man of culture I see


Tu_Hoang

Lets steal this 🤡


42gh0st

Yes as a fellow redditor myself I agree that sharing jokes between friends is bad 🗿


evelynlouuise

For real. I’m high, so that took me a minute to process.


billtrociti

Most fruits and vegetables do too!


azrulqos

hold on, what do you mean "most"?


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converter-bot

5 inches is 12.7 cm


Jiquero

I don't know what the original post said, but I find this information extremely useful anyway.


2002alexandros

Good bot


ArKadeFlre

I think this shower thought would be true even in a more classic farm with enough room for them to move. They just move a lot after their death.


SnicklefritzSkad

Legs chopped off?


comfort_bot_1962

Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


D0ctorD00m

Can’t you say this for cows and many other animals we consume?


_-Fatal-_

Yes


JaredLiwet

What about shrimp or various types of fish?


sapere-aude088

Yep. Shipped globally.


PeteLangosta

Yeah, so I thought. Most animal will travel further after they died than before, often from corner to corner of the country from were they were raised to a local supermarket.


sapere-aude088

Sadly, they'll travel far while alive. Many dying during the travel from heat exhaustion, dehydration or starvation.


D4rk_7

You could say this about every living animal on earth if we want to be very precise. The earth is spinning around the sun etc.


Davaeorn

I think movement is generally measured within the local frame of reference


ellWatully

Doesn't have to be animals either! The same could be said about corn. That's just how agriculture works. You cultivate things in one place and then sell them to be consumed somewhere else.


lofidelity-

The bananas I buy have travelled a single distance further than I have


sapere-aude088

*You* consume.


My_blueheaven

Most chickens have a shelf life longer than an actual life.


QueenMunchy

This is sad on too many levels.


birdsareinteresting

Very sad, good reason to stop eating them.


A-maze-ing_Henry

We are becoming self-aware.


JoolzCheat

Most chickens live their life on a shelf


[deleted]

Yeah because they spend their lives in tiny cages until they're hanged by their feet and put into electric water


livebeta

Sad truth about Factory Farming. Chickens are stuck in small spaces without freedom.


BurningFlex

Even free-range means nothing truly. It can mean as much as a shed with an open window where all of them stand next to each other in their own feces and ontop of their trampled brothers and sisters. There is really no ethical way to purchase chicken. Might as well not eat chicken.


Takasuya

I own about 150 chickens, they have a large open space with 3 large chicken houses, they are having the time of their life (when they ain't trying to murder/rape each other). Kill them only when they reach old age. That's gotta be the most ethical way.


Lenkstudent

Most ethical is to be vegan


Takasuya

Technically the truth.


MadMike404

Exhaustively the truth.


Conquerors_Quill

BuT PLanTs hAVe fEeLInGs ToO!


oldDotredditisbetter

it's hard to go "true" vegan though even with someone only eats non-animal product, and uses only non-animal product, they're probably still using products that are made by human slaves


We-Are-Only-Animals

Veganism is about abstaining from contributing to the exploitation and genocide of sentient non-human animals as far as possible in a bid to live in accordance with the belief in the establishment of the basic legal rights of non-humans not to be used as commodities. It has nothing to do with human slaves.


mrSalema

100% agreed on everything you said, except it's objectively not genocide but rather a holocaust. I kindly ask you to research what "genocide" means :) it's the attempt to eradicate a given group from a given area.


Conquerors_Quill

Yeah, I'm vegan and like my human slaves! /s


We-Are-Only-Animals

You dropped your "/s"


Lenkstudent

i mean yes if you dont know what veganism means, its exceptionally difficult to practice it


yabucek

Never understood this argument and still don't. Just because it's impossible to go 100% cruelty free doesn't mean a person should just stop trying. If nobody went vegan and instead everyone just tried to reduce their meat consumption by a third it would make a world of difference, it's not a black and white situation.


Source_Australian

Vegan here. I hate humans. I’m ok with it.


DoktoroKiu

This is a very different problem, though. Nobody is choosing to support slavery, and it is in fact hidden because we have many systems in place to try to prevent using materials sourced from slave labor. Unless you are well-researched in this ethical problem (or a vegan who constantly hears this argument), your average person has no idea that their car, toaster, or phone has slavery in its supply chain. Fairphone (the most ethical manufacturer of smartphones afaik) had to just buy ethical gold to re-sell on the market, because they literally could not verify the ethical sourcing from their suppliers. When it is a raw material that was mined somewhere in a poor country with lax/nonexistent labor laws (or enforcement), it is difficult to track it. Non-vegans all know what they support at an abstract level. Chicken nuggets require chickens to die. They may be ignorant of the horrors of factory farming, but even that knowledge is more common. Electronic devices do not require slavery to produce, but animal products always require the death and exploitation of animals to produce (at least for now). Should we all do better in other ethical pursuits? Absolutely. But to say someone is not a "true" vegan when they are not perfectly ethical in all areas of life is a bit of a stretch. A vegan absolutely has a duty to avoid supporting human slavery. Buy a used electronics next time if possible, or just hold on to them for longer. When you buy new electronics check the ethics of their supply chain and support the most ethical producer.


PlsGoVegan

Old age as in when they don't lay enough eggs anymore for you to turn a profit from them? Or old age as in "die from natural causes" old age?


Takasuya

Old age as in when they move 5 metres in a span of a whole week.


Fearzebu

So like 1/10 of their natural lifespan when they’re pumped full of antibiotics and calories in factory farms That really doesn’t answer their question.


ZeCactus

Yeah I'm sure the person that grows chickens in an open yard with large chicken houses is just SHOVING antibiotics in them.


Takasuya

My chickens aren't pumped with factory stuff, that's the whole point of my comments...


Lenkstudent

Do you use their eggs?


Takasuya

Of course, they dump out 50-60 a day.


JTKoopmans

It does though.


BurningFlex

Well considering that we do not need meat for nutrition and you aren't looking after them like you would loon after a dog but rather for the purpose of getting some product out of it, the whole setting is already unethical. If you are looking after them for their sake like you would for a dog, then you would never kill them yourself but rather let them die of old age. Also considering over 90% of meat consumed comes from factory farms, I don't see how your example is applicable, since it is a marginal case.


Takasuya

And what is better, for them to not exist at all, or to be born in a chicken factory? The only time I interact with them is when I feed them, when I don't feed them they are left to their own devices, be it to roam around the front or back yard where they have plenty of places to chill (as they usually do, they dig holes in the ground and just chill in them) or to feed on delicious food. I can assure you that my chickens are living the best life, 99.99% of their life will be spent in "luxury" compared to other chicken lifestyles, the remaining % will be the last minute of their life when they get the sweet release of death, instead of suffering from old age.


RadishSignal

I don't think the person you're replying to meant that you're running a factory farm. And a lotta folks believe it would be better to not be born (and thus never have the capacity to suffer) versus bring bred for and born into a life of nearly guaranteed suffering. I'm perdonally not trying to get into it here, in a reddit thread, just hoping to clarify a bit.


[deleted]

> And what is better, for them to not exist at all, or to be born in a chicken factory? Do you think this is a difficult question or something? Obviously, it would be better for them never to have been born to be resources for you to exploit.


BurningFlex

>And what is better, for them to not exist at all, or to be born in a chicken factory? Not be born at all. Definitely. I am glad to hear that you take care of your chickens and grant them a life of freedom to the best of your extent, since letting them run around completely unguarded would be unreaspnable. But again, this doesn't change anything about the reason why they have been bred into existence in the first place. They are just objects of produce for you. If we would switch them for dogs, you'd never dare to kill them early and eat them. What is the moral difference between the life of a chicken and a dog? >the remaining % will be the last minute of their life when they get the sweet release of death, instead of suffering from old age. By this you claim that a quick early death which is chosen by someone else is ethical somehow. This would allow killing indigenous tribes for example because they would most likely die to a predator or disease. It is never morally acceptable to choose an early death for someone except for the case of euthanasia. But we wouldn't dare to euthanise a dog with a knife across the throat, so why is it ok for chickens? And I assume your chickens have a good life and many years to come. So it is even a bigger betrayal to end their life early. I am sorry if this is against everything what you believe but morally and philosophically speaking your position is not valid. It may be something we've done for a long time but that doesn't make it ethical.


[deleted]

> And I assume your chickens have a good life and many years to come. It's a huge assumption with no real ground to believe in it. Their life probably isn't good. For example, the OP said "they dump out" 50-60 eggs a day. That's very taxing. There's 150 of them in three houses which likely aren't even that big, and apparently they try to rape and murder each other. It's honestly sickening to assume their lives are good. But I understand you just wanted to make a point about betrayal: *even if* their lives are good, that would just make murdering them super early even worse.


wenasi

Guilt every free range owner into stopping, and now 100% of meat comes from factory farms. Big win.


PoorCoyote

Time of their life hatching their babies for food or grinder while not living freely. What a life!


Takasuya

Are you daft? I've already stated that they're left to their devices in an open front and backyard.


PoorCoyote

Not stated in the comment I replied to. But I suppose that justifies the killing and eating them. What a good human you are! All done for.. um.. what exactly?


Takasuya

They are killed in the last minute of their life, before that they are free for the 99.99% of their lifetime to do whatever they want in their living spaces. Read my other comments.


PoorCoyote

Are your chicken selectively bred/overbred? Do you sell/kill male chicks? Do you eat or sell their eggs instead of letting chickens decide what to do with them (hatch or eat them to get back the nutrients)? If you answered yes to any then what you do is wrong.


Takasuya

Not sure about the selective breeding, probably not. Male chicks live until old age. Of course I eat and sell the eggs, they get discarded/eaten by chickens if they stay in the nest for too long. On rare ocassions, a chicken will enter an imobile state where it will intentionally stay inside the nest and wait for the eggs to hatch. When that happens to a chicken, I isolate it in a dark, concealed room with little to no sunlight for 20 days, where it will barely move to eat/drink until the eggs are hatched. This only happened two, three times, though.


PoorCoyote

Thanks for an honest answer and glad to hear males get to live a good life! Props to you for that, since it is definitely not a standard. I see that you care about your chickens more than an average farmer does, yet you still don't even know if they are selectively bred to produce more eggs than naturally responsible. However the case, eating eggs is still the same as eating unborn puppies or kittens. Can't justify that. I hope you know why rhe chickens eat their eggs, they need to intake their lost nutrients back.


draw4kicks

Lol throat slitting is ethical, okay buddy


Takasuya

Not really slitting, more like a fast decapitation.


draw4kicks

I'm kinda trolling but I really wanna know what you think is ethical about using pleasure to justify violence? In any other scenario I can think of that would be considered totally barbaric, how isn't it selective reasoning to not apply that reasoning to animal abuse?


Takasuya

Are you suggesting I take pleasure from cutting off heads? Their heads are cut off because they're reaching the end of their life (in my case, the way I deal with them), I'm not just gonna let them rot away. In fact, it's more ethical to decapitate them instead of letting them suffer for weeks until dying.


IDontTrustGod

Agreed, I would venture to say many of them travel more just inside our intestines than they did while alive...


sleep_monster_

Well how far did the chicken cross the road?


tree5eat

All the way across. It was being delivered frozen in a box.


Nyeow

The chicken may also be in multiple places at the same time.


tree5eat

Schrödinger’s chook.


Uncreation_

Every single farm animal actually


Jackso08

It's true, I didn't notice how spread out the food supply chain is in the US until I became a truck driver. If you eat chicken in California you can bet it came from 1000+ miles away, same as if you eat strawberrys in Florida. Basically if you eat a full course meal it's a safe bet that at least 80% came from 500+ miles away.


sapere-aude088

So gross.


livebeta

When I wake up, I know I'm gonna be , I'm gonna be...


gutprof

Not Superchicken though.


onemoretime2021

Ask Fred.


oogmar

I'm glad that I read this and somewhere from the vaults of my mind: "When you find yourself in danger, when you're threatened by a stranger, when you think you're about to take a lickin! There's a hero you can call, he'll hurry up and rescue you. Just call for Superchicken. (CALLL, for Superchicken, bacaw!) " That was Weird Al, right? I'm stoned and the George of the Jungle cartoons were on VHS so the words are probably wrong.


gutprof

https://youtu.be/FKss2pBYQ6Y


beardedblorgon

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was shipped to processing


helloimlarry

Super sad though


comfort_bot_1962

Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


ScorpioHex

That’s sad :(


Koquillon

If it makes you sad, you should go vegan


JustAsadINFP

Yeah and that’s literally sickening and disgusting and we should stop forcing them into existence to live miserable lives on factory farms and then be trucked to be violently murdered in a slaughterhouse :/ We have no need to eat their bodies.


TimBroKaz

Sadly most people who have choice in their diet just simply don't care about the cruelty and exploitation behind their meal, the only important thing to them is to fill their stomachs.


sapere-aude088

Millions of us have made the change though, and have created alternatives.


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Runespoore

It took me a good 30 years but I did it even though i grew up on meat and especially cheese. Don't think of it as "cutting out the dairy and meat" more like adding about 100 new foods to your plate. I've found so many new yummy things that I wouldn't want to miss (yes, chickpeas and lentils, I am looking at you!) that I don't crave meat at all anymore. Crowding out the meat was the best way for me.


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Runespoore

It does not have to be all at once but can be done bit by bit. Changing from one day to another is, for most people, not doable. But change out cows milk for oat milk (you can even make your own which is incredibly cheap) or other milk alternatives and when you ar comfortable with that introduce more beans and lentils to your diet (also very cheap and full of protein and other good stuff). As soon as you find meals that you like, you can eat less and less meat without really realising it. Do what you **can** do and what you feel comfortable with doing, but if you really care about what is being done to those animals, you can do something. Every little bit helps. Nobody is perfect and no one expects anyone to change how they've been raised from one day to the next. :)


saiyanprnnce

it’s disgusting this is true and that almost nobody else thinks there’s a real problem about it.


kangaroosterLP

>nobody else thinks there’s a real problem about it Vegans exist.


DotMatrix98

Ey, we'll get there eventually. Just gotta keep fighting.


Careful_Driver

True. Poor animals.


onemillionyrsdungeon

For real, chickens should be allowed travel visas and the right to travel wherever they'd like. What a crime


PoorCoyote

Hahaha a joke to dismiss animal cruelty. Top tier comedy here


Indydegrees2

God forbid anyone make a joke about anything ever again


ZDTreefur

Do you want each chicken to circumnavigate the globe before dying? That's a lot of travel.


Spaceboot1

I want them to write a novel about it too.


SharkyJ123

Vegans have entered the chat... literally


Beastythug18

Great point - I also want to add they continue their travel after death and then consumption. The normal range for transit time includes the following: gastric emptying (2 to 5 hours), small bowel transit (2 to 6 hours), colonic transit (10 to 59 hours), and whole gut transit (10 to 73 hours). Your digestion rate is also based on what you've eaten. Meat and fish can take as long as 2 days to fully digest. I then want to delve into the decomposition of chicken waste in you excrement, without modern sewerage technologies. this no doubt, furthers the distance and time a chicken travels.. (in all senses) shame no one has tested this.. that I know of.. oh hang on, there was this one dude obsessed with peoples shit patterns... I’ll try to remember his name, it eludes me atm


David-Diron

Just like most people are deeper after death than during their living years.


Stubbedtoe18

That's not true of anyone who has swam in a real swimming pool or body of water or who has been in a basement.


tyckt206

Or went diving in the sea before.


sapere-aude088

Or gone caving. Which is a fucking awesome experience, btw.


David-Diron

You are right. I live in South Louisiana, where there are few inground pools and no basements, so I hadn't considered them.


breigns2

As do we all; continuing our pointless existence as we hurdle through space, rotting in our graves for billions of years (though admittedly we would be rock for most of that assuming we got fossilized).


enki1337

Actually, I chose myself as my frame of reference, and I haven't moved an inch since I was born nor will I ever. Turns out that in a certain light, the universe truly does revolve around me.


-DukeOfAss

Every single living thing travels a greater distance after death than when alive. Earth is always moving through space and time always moves forwards.


Paisable

Relatively speaking


remtard_remmington

Relative to what?


Embarrassed-Topic-97

Tree fiddy


Shadyponcho96

Because they’re a commodity. Go vegan and don’t treat sentient beings as objects


SiIentGasp

As someone who has witnessed many a chicken truck driving down the road, I can tell you they are transported alive.


oldDotredditisbetter

i think OP means after they're slaughtered, freezed, then shipped


sapere-aude088

Many die during transport, and are shipped further distances post processing.


Capnreid

Does it count as “traveling” if they are dead? If so, doesn’t this apply to most animals that are killed for food?


bloutchbleue

I took it way too litteraly and was very confused


Tooladrake

My first thought was "I know that a decapitated chicken can still run but is it really doing it that long ?" And then I got it...


netherite_shears

What the fuck


mrcoffee8

All chickens do- and so does everything else


bmidy

With dairy cows who are stunned and killed pregnant, the baby calf is cut out of the womb, sometimes alive, and then killed immediately. They don't travel very far at all.


TenThousandFeet

My dad is 78 and hated having to kill chickens as a kid so much he still occasionally complains about it. Can totally picture my grandma showing him how to wrench their necks and tell him to stop whining. Also, the number of people in this thread that don’t know the origin of “like a chicken with its head cut off” is too damn high.


lowenkraft

Finally crossed the road.


Asleep-Permit-2363

There's more we'll traveled vegetables then some people


BurningFlex

Hence why I wrote "here is "one" definition", in order to start a discussion about what we both mean about it. I never said it is THE definition. In order to follow a discussion, you should be able to read and comprehend firstly, then you can start criticizing. Thanks.